god in my eyes

There is something so divine about this earth, this natural world I am so blessed to inhabit. I see god in sunlight filtering through the forest ceiling, in being weightless in water, in capillaries converging to form an oh-so elegant cardiovascular system, all on their own accord. There is god in science, weaving the threads of DNA into a living, breathing being. And these beings vary from sea angels to rabbits to dinosaurs to humans to the unimaginable number of creatures we haven't even discovered yet. It all comes together in one beautiful symphony, where plants reach for the sun and trees climb towards the heavens, all while humans max out credit cards and scroll on instagram reels. 

I want to know the forces that took us from atoms to molecules to proteins to cells to tissues to organs to organisms to families to communities to populations to species that all exist together on this planet. Of course, this is impossible. Attempting to make sense of these existential questions with pure science is futile. There are limits to what we will be able to understand, to learn, and it's why the big bang theory is called that – a theory. That's the scientific term for "we think that's how it happened but we have no way of ever empirically confirming this." This is where god comes in. That underlying power behind it all, the energies we can't fully explain, the force that conjured life when every other planet we see seems barren. 

I want to clarify that I'm not talking about a big bearded man in the sky, mashing atoms together in his giant almighty palms. Rather, I believe my religion can be found in the forces behind the creation of life and the universe. THAT is god. It's an incredibly abstract thing. It's why we're drawn to certain things inexplicably. Some call it fate, some call it god's plan, and I'm not even sure what I call it. But wow, is it holy to exist at the same floating rock as poppies and peonies and peacocks and puppies and fruit that the earth literally grows for us to eat (there is god in a crisp bite into an apple, its juice sweet and cool on my tongue) at the same time as all these people I adore, all these humans that have resulted from their parents and their grandparents and their great grandparents and their great great grandparents all the way back to Lucy and stromatolite microbes and that fabled last universal common ancestor. Humanity as a species is unique – it's conquered the earth, desecrating what nature carefully created at the same time as it makes art and music and pasta and midcentury modern design and domesticates wolves. Millions of years ago, Africa was essentially the garden of Eden, the birthplace of our ancestors. Despite the obstacles of having to hunt and gather your food, trying not get hunted by something else, and all in all just trying to make it to tomorrow, I wish I could return to it. This is proto-humanity. We have not eaten the apple and been consumed by the greed that drives us.

Speaking of which, I need to smoke weed, eat dinner, and watch Family Guy now.